Tilandeng
Moderator
There are many factors that can be a handicap in the bedroom.
Some people believe that talking about sex is inherently vulgar, and this belief makes it difficult to communicate openly with one’s partner. Sexual communication could be related to general communication about sex, or to communication during sex, or anything in between.
It’s important to learn how one’s partner likes to communicate, what communication styles they are best suited to, so that both people can understand the basic method and approach their partner takes. It’s also helpful to discuss the kind of communication that feels comfortable and safe for both partners during sex. It’s important to know and understand how one’s partner likes to refer to anatomical structures and the type of talk they enjoy (or don’t enjoy) during sex, so that their needs can be met.
The misconception that people should already be knowledgeable about sex and intuitively know how to please a sexual partner, can make communication difficult. There’s always a lot of pressure, both external and self-imposed, to have a certain degree of sexual prowess and to be able to please one’s partner, but no one inherently has that knowledge.
Every person is unique and it takes time and patience to be able to understand and fulfill another person’s needs. It’s important to ask one’s partner questions about their preferences and listen to their responses. It can be helpful to guide one’s partner to show them what feels good during sex, whether that means making requests, explaining what one likes, or physically guiding one’s partner’s hands and actions.
Factor 3: Another misconception, related to Factor 2, is feeling that if someone truly loves us, they should be able to anticipate our needs. This is a common pitfall for many relationships, because no one is a mind reader, and expecting that someone else will be able to anticipate another person’s every need isn’t realistic.
Again, being attentive to one’s partner is very important, asking questions, and making sure to listen and understand their responses is crucial. Making requests of one’s partner is also helpful, as is demonstrating or guiding their actions.
What else am I missing? Care to share?
Some people believe that talking about sex is inherently vulgar, and this belief makes it difficult to communicate openly with one’s partner. Sexual communication could be related to general communication about sex, or to communication during sex, or anything in between.
It’s important to learn how one’s partner likes to communicate, what communication styles they are best suited to, so that both people can understand the basic method and approach their partner takes. It’s also helpful to discuss the kind of communication that feels comfortable and safe for both partners during sex. It’s important to know and understand how one’s partner likes to refer to anatomical structures and the type of talk they enjoy (or don’t enjoy) during sex, so that their needs can be met.
The misconception that people should already be knowledgeable about sex and intuitively know how to please a sexual partner, can make communication difficult. There’s always a lot of pressure, both external and self-imposed, to have a certain degree of sexual prowess and to be able to please one’s partner, but no one inherently has that knowledge.
Every person is unique and it takes time and patience to be able to understand and fulfill another person’s needs. It’s important to ask one’s partner questions about their preferences and listen to their responses. It can be helpful to guide one’s partner to show them what feels good during sex, whether that means making requests, explaining what one likes, or physically guiding one’s partner’s hands and actions.
Factor 3: Another misconception, related to Factor 2, is feeling that if someone truly loves us, they should be able to anticipate our needs. This is a common pitfall for many relationships, because no one is a mind reader, and expecting that someone else will be able to anticipate another person’s every need isn’t realistic.
Again, being attentive to one’s partner is very important, asking questions, and making sure to listen and understand their responses is crucial. Making requests of one’s partner is also helpful, as is demonstrating or guiding their actions.
What else am I missing? Care to share?
